MAP Strategic Wealth Advisors

Strength to Strength: Finding Success, Happiness, and Deep Purpose in the Second Half of Life

Five takeaways:

From Brooks’ bestselling book From Strength to Strength, these five insights provide guidance on building & assuring personal happiness.

1. Happiness is not just up to chance: Happiness is a set of elements; it’s made up of enjoyment, satisfaction, and purpose. We can control all those things—not perfectly, but a lot more than we typically think. It is important to remember that we have this control most when the feeling of happiness feels the most elusive.
2. The Striver’s Curse: After about age 70, there are two groups of people in the population—one group gets happier and happier as they age, and the other group gets less and less happy. Most assume the happy group is made up of the high achievers — the ones who did a lot, built a lot, earned a lot. But Brooks found the opposite: it’s often the most successful people who end up on the lower branch. The very accomplishments that defined them become the source of their unhappiness, because when the party ends, they’re the ones who notice.
3. Our Natural Strengths Change—and we need to get from one success curve to the second: Early in life, we run on what psychologists call “fluid intelligence” — the ability to focus hard, solve problems quickly, and innovate. It peaks in our 20s and 30s, and begins to fade in our 40s and 50s. But something else is quietly building the whole time: “crystallized intelligence”, which keeps growing well into our 60s and 70s. This is the intelligence of wisdom — knowing a lot, knowing how to use it, and knowing how to pass it on. The transition from fluid to crystallized, from innovator to instructor, is the central move of the second half of a successful life.
4. Don’t Add without Subtracting: At a certain point, the canvas of your life that you’ve been painting all of these years gets pretty full. Life is full of possessions, attachments, relationships, and opinions that build up and begin distracting you from who you are. Develop the difficult skill of letting these things go.
   
   We often hear about people assembling a “Bucket List” of things to do or accomplish during their lifetimes. Brooks suggest creating a “reverse bucket list” every year, full of five to ten things you will actively give up or leave in the past because they are holding you back from the growth or pursuits that will bring you happiness.
5. Happiness is Based on Love: Love is the nuclear fuel of happiness — without it, getting happier as you age simply isn’t possible. This can extend past romantic love to that of friendship. Regardless, the research is clear: the quality of your relationships as you get older is the single biggest determinant of longterm happiness. Cultivate them accordingly, and remember that it is never too late to improve upon and develop your relationship with someone.

While it may not happen overnight, understanding— and acting on— these insights can help any of us build a happier life. Remember: it is always possible to be happier at 75 than you were at 25.

By Arthur Brooks for Next Big Ideas Club
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