How to Stop Feeling Guilty
Five Takeaways:
Guilt, the negative response to recognizing we’ve done something wrong, can be channeled into positive growth. When acknowledged constructively, it motivates us to act more thoughtfully and improve our future behavior.
Guilt becomes destructive when it turns into shame—feeling bad about who we are, rather than what we did. This tendency to equate actions with self-worth is common, harmful, and often difficult to unlearn. But it is possible.
Here are 5 practical strategies for assuaging self guilt:
- Maintain a Positive Self-View by Focusing on the Action that Caused the Guilt:
It’s completely normal—and even healthy—to feel guilt, as long as you separate it from your sense of self. Remember: the action that caused your guilt doesn’t define your character. Be intentional about recognizing the difference between what you did and who you are.- Assuage Guilt by Righting the Wrong:
Decide on a concrete action to make things right. Once you’ve done it, consciously connect that act of repair with the moment you allow yourself to release the guilt. In short: identify the fix, follow through, acknowledge it, and move forward.- Kickstart the Healing by Being Vulnerable:
Admitting you were wrong and offering a genuine apology can be deeply healing. Even if the other person isn’t ready to forgive, expressing remorse from the heart helps you find closure. Be honest, clear, and accepting of whatever response your apology receives.- Give Yourself a Break by Maintaining Self-Compassion:
We can be our own harshest critics. Notice that tendency and work against it. Show yourself empathy, recognize your humanity, and believe in your ability to learn, repair, and grow from your mistakes.- Call Out Your Guilt by Labeling It:
When you notice feelings of guilt, name them. Simply identifying guilt helps you step back from it, creating a psychological distance that allows you to see it as just one emotion—not a definition of who you are.Each moment we live in unnecessary guilt is a moment we’ll never get back. Those moments steal our capacity for joy and keep us from taking meaningful action. Learn to manage your guilt, and reclaim the time and energy that belong to you.
From Seven Mindsets
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