June 2023 – MAP Strategic Wealth Advisors

How to Tell Good Self-Help From Bad Self-Help

Five takeaways:

The self-help space has become a multibillion dollar, hugely crowded industry. Naturally, one must be intentional in selecting their sources of self-help information- or risk getting stuck in the loop of getting bad advice and being forced to seek more.

To avoid bad self-help, make sure your self-help advice is consistent with these proven neurological principals:

Mental focus amplifies and magnifies: whatever you focus on becomes larger and more important to you than what you don’t.

Repetition creates default processing in the brain: it can make certain processes happen on “autopilot”

When the brain experiences something bad it sends a signal of negative emotion before giving way to more rational processes: interpretation and assessment of the bad thing. Good self-help advice encourages you to understand that this initial negative signal (say, anxiety or anger) is not reality, as much as it may seem like reality. The alarm is not the fire.

Bad self-help advice, however, focuses on validation of the negative mental processes holding an individual back. It wastes time validating an individual’s negative experience rather than giving advice for actually addressing it, causing them to get stuck in a feedback loop that sees them repeat their bad habits… and continue consuming bad self-help advice.

Good self-help advice actively seeks to be practical, helping individuals to define their goals/actions, and offering specific strategies to address their problems.

From Steven Stosny, Ph.D for Psychology Today
Read the whole story.

Note: At the time of this posting The Atlantic offers five free article views per month.

This site may contain links to articles or other information that may be contained on a third-party website. Advisory Services Network, LLC and MAP Strategic Wealth Advisors are not responsible for and do not control, adopt, or endorse any content contained on any third party website. The information and material contained in linked articles is of a general nature and is intended for educational purposes only. Links to articles do not constitute a recommendation or a solicitation or offer of the purchase or sale of securities.

The Only Career Advice You’ll Ever Need

Five takeaways:

Often, when faced with a difficult problem, we struggle. Not because we can’t find the answer, but because we aren’t asking ourselves the right questions. When we find ourselves lacking fulfillment, introspection can be daunting- but it is essential. According to legend, the dictum “Know Thyself” was carved into the stone of the Temple of Apollo at Delphi, in ancient Greece. At around the same time, the Chinese philosopher Lao Tzu wrote in the Tao Te Ching, “Knowing the self is enlightenment.”

The key to finding a fulfilling career lies in first understanding ourselves and our needs, before determining what we are meant to do with our lives. What makes us truly happy, and how do we channel that happiness into our working lives?

Studies show that we often have an inaccurate perception of ourselves and our abilities. We tend to overestimate our own skills and overlook some of our own shortcomings. In other areas we underestimate ourselves. True self-knowledge requires diligent self-assessment.

Brooks evokes St. Thomas Aquinas and Buddhist teachings to show that self-knowledge leads to a reprioritization of love in one’s life. That excellence is “not separate from love.” So: when young people look to choose a career path, they should not stray from the things they truly love.

Love often takes the form of serving others, which underpins the deep fulfillment that work can bring. Who you may serve in your work will vary; it might be your customers, your colleagues, or the public. But dedicating one’s work to the good of others can make what might have been a previously unfulfilling work life into one full of motivation, energy, and happiness.

From Arthur C. Brooks at The Atlantic:
Read the whole story.

Note: At the time of this posting The Atlantic offers five free article views per month.

This site may contain links to articles or other information that may be contained on a third-party website. Advisory Services Network, LLC and MAP Strategic Wealth Advisors are not responsible for and do not control, adopt, or endorse any content contained on any third party website. The information and material contained in linked articles is of a general nature and is intended for educational purposes only. Links to articles do not constitute a recommendation or a solicitation or offer of the purchase or sale of securities.

What My Harvard College Reunion Taught Me About Life

Five takeaways:

The author begins the piece by reflecting on the graduation speech by Harvard’s president at her graduation from the university in 1988, noting regrettable truths (and subsequent shifts) in Harvard’s admissions practices surrounding economic, racial, and cultural groups.

She then jumps to her 30th reunion, noting that she was compelled by the way that life after graduation had become less about the prestigious school listed on her diploma, and more about getting in touch about the essential qualities of being human.

The author then lists 30 “truths” she took away from her 30th reunion. The full list is worth reading, but five particularly resonant takeaways are below. Some of them are findings from the class survey each attendee took before the event.

Nearly all the alumni said they were embarrassed by their younger selves, particularly by how judgmental they used to be.

The group’s strongest desire, in the pre-reunion class survey—over more sex and more money—was to get more sleep.

They became far more generous with their “I love you’s.” They flew freely at the reunion. They don’t ration them out to only their intimates now, it seems; they’ve expanded their understanding of what love is, making room for long-lost friends.

No matter what the classmates became– a congressman, a Tony Award–winning director, an astronaut—at the end of the day, most of their conversations at the various parties and panel discussions throughout the weekend centered on a desire for love, comfort, intellectual stimulation, decent leaders, a sustainable environment, friendship, and stability.

Attendees who’d experienced the trauma of near death—or who were still facing it—seemed the most elated to be at reunion. Some “were giggling, giddy as toddlers, practically bouncing on our toes, unable to stop hugging each other and smiling as we recounted the gruesome particulars of our near misses.”

From Deborah Copaken at The Atlantic:
Read the whole story.

Note: At the time of this posting The Atlantic offers five free article views per month.

This site may contain links to articles or other information that may be contained on a third-party website. Advisory Services Network, LLC and MAP Strategic Wealth Advisors are not responsible for and do not control, adopt, or endorse any content contained on any third party website. The information and material contained in linked articles is of a general nature and is intended for educational purposes only. Links to articles do not constitute a recommendation or a solicitation or offer of the purchase or sale of securities.

The Six Forces that Fuel Friendship

Six takeaways:

Writer Julie Beck has conducted over 100 interviews on the topic of human friendship and has come away with these six keys to keeping friendships strong.

Accumulation – The simplest and most obvious force that forms and sustains friendships is time spent together. Unsurprisingly, friendships in places where people spend a lot of time- school, work, etc.

Attention – Strong friendships require diligence and open ears. Connection can come from anywhere and a friendship can arise when given the proper attentiveness!

Intention – Attention only gets you so far without action. When opportunity arises, you have to put yourself out there, and that requires courage, vulnerability, and a willingness to let things be awkward. In the early stages of a friendship, some “courtship” may be necessary!

Ritual – The effort of coordinating meetups (or even phone calls) can be one of the biggest barriers sustaining friends, so get something pre-coordinated planted permanently onto the schedule. These activities can be diverse: simple meals, book clubs, bike rides.

Imagination – Friendships often take a backseat to family and work, and other life concerns. But they do not have to. You can take imaginative, creative action to guarantee the strength of friendships. Friends can travel together, work on creative projects together. Get creative and make it fun for both parties!

Grace – Friendship is flexible, and bends to fit the shape our lives need it to. It can be elastic, stretching to allow long silences, but it can snap back into place when you least expect. You have to allow for these stretches and shifts in a friendship, and be generous with friends, to guarantee friendships stay strong long term. Forgive friends when they fall short and maintain an openhearted approach to new connections.

From Julie Beck at The Atlantic:
Read the whole story.

Note: At the time of this posting The Atlantic offers five free article views per month.

This site may contain links to articles or other information that may be contained on a third-party website. Advisory Services Network, LLC and MAP Strategic Wealth Advisors are not responsible for and do not control, adopt, or endorse any content contained on any third party website. The information and material contained in linked articles is of a general nature and is intended for educational purposes only. Links to articles do not constitute a recommendation or a solicitation or offer of the purchase or sale of securities.

Monthly Archives: June 2023

Five takeaways:

Five takeaways:

Five takeaways:

Six takeaways: