Nine Nonobvious Ways to Have Deeper Conversations

Five takeaways:

  1. Deeper conversations help people become explicable to each other and themselves. They are tools of building self awareness and greater, more compassionate understanding of the world around us.
  2. Remember to approach conversations with a sense of awe. C.S. Lewis once wrote that if you’d never met a human and suddenly encountered one, “you’d be inclined to worship this creature.”
  3. Asking “elevating” questions (What crossroads are you at? Who do you feel most grateful to have in your life?) can spur deeper answers.
  4. Avoid questions that have a clear yes or no answer. Open ended questions allow for deeper, flowing answers. Starting questions with “What was it like. …” or “Tell me about a time. …” is a great starting point.
  5. Treat attention as “all or nothing.” Full, undivided attention will unlock deeper questions and greater conversational flow, and have a magnetic effect on your conversation partner.

From David Brooks at The New York Times:

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A Profession Is Not a Personality

Five takeaways:

  1. In today’s fast-paced work culture, too many of us “self-objectify” in the workplace, striving past our own physical or mental comfort zones to become “work machines” and “tools of performance.”
  2. If work conditions give us the feeling of “being used as a tool,” rather than feeling recognized and valuable in a work environment, and not being recognized as an agent in the working environment, we are more likely to experience burnout, depression, and other workplace issues.
  3. Brooks wants readers to ask themselves: Is your job the biggest part of your identity? Do you find yourself sacrificing love relationships for work? Do you have trouble imagining being happy if you were to lose your job or career? If you answer in the affirmative, to any or all of these, you might accidentally be self-objectifying in the workplace.
  4. Brooks offers two helpful tactics to self-objectifying in the workplace: 1) enforcing a strict work/life boundary on weekends and on vacations and 2) Spend time with people who have no connection to your work.
  5. Brooks notes that it takes courage to experience your full life and true self when work demands so much of us, but that we must!

From Arthur C. Brooks at The Atlantic:

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This site may contain links to articles or other information that may be contained on a third-party website. Advisory Services Network, LLC and MAP Strategic Wealth Advisors are not responsible for and do not control, adopt, or endorse any content contained on any third party website. The information and material contained in linked articles is of a general nature and is intended for educational purposes only. Links to articles do not constitute a recommendation or a solicitation or offer of the purchase or sale of securities.

Persuading the Unpersuadable

Takeaways:

  1. Grant studies Steve Jobs as an example of someone who was famously willing to be persuaded by those around him– and points to multiple world-changing Apple successes that he had initially opposed, including the Iphone and AppleTV.
  2. He points to four tactics for persuading someone to reconsider their positions:
    • Ask them to explain their positions in extreme depth, which shows them that they may not know a topic as well as they think they do
    • Make them feel that they are in control of the conversation, then turn persuasion into a gradual “a game of catch,” chipping away at holes in their positions and displaying the merits of yours.
    • Praise a narcissist – earn their trust by praising those who believe that their correctness is a part of their personal worth.
    • Disagree with people who tend to be Disagreeable– politely fight for your ideas to show your conviction in them.
  3. Persuasion is an important part of progress, Grant argues that, “When leaders lack the wisdom to question their convictions, followers need the courage to persuade them to change their minds.”

From Adam Grant at Harvard Business Review:

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This site may contain links to articles or other information that may be contained on a third-party website. Advisory Services Network, LLC and MAP Strategic Wealth Advisors are not responsible for and do not control, adopt, or endorse any content contained on any third party website. The information and material contained in linked articles is of a general nature and is intended for educational purposes only. Links to articles do not constitute a recommendation or a solicitation or offer of the purchase or sale of securities.