Nine Nonobvious Ways to Have Deeper Conversations
Five takeaways:
- Deeper conversations help people become explicable to each other and themselves. They are tools of building self awareness and greater, more compassionate understanding of the world around us.
- Remember to approach conversations with a sense of awe. C.S. Lewis once wrote that if you’d never met a human and suddenly encountered one, “you’d be inclined to worship this creature.”
- Asking “elevating” questions (What crossroads are you at? Who do you feel most grateful to have in your life?) can spur deeper answers.
- Avoid questions that have a clear yes or no answer. Open ended questions allow for deeper, flowing answers. Starting questions with “What was it like. …” or “Tell me about a time. …” is a great starting point.
- Treat attention as “all or nothing.” Full, undivided attention will unlock deeper questions and greater conversational flow, and have a magnetic effect on your conversation partner.
From David Brooks at The New York Times:
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