The Six Forces that Fuel Friendship
Six takeaways:
- Writer Julie Beck has conducted over 100 interviews on the topic of human friendship and has come away with these six keys to keeping friendships strong.
- Accumulation – The simplest and most obvious force that forms and sustains friendships is time spent together. Unsurprisingly, friendships in places where people spend a lot of time- school, work, etc.
- Attention – Strong friendships require diligence and open ears. Connection can come from anywhere and a friendship can arise when given the proper attentiveness!
- Intention – Attention only gets you so far without action. When opportunity arises, you have to put yourself out there, and that requires courage, vulnerability, and a willingness to let things be awkward. In the early stages of a friendship, some “courtship” may be necessary!
- Ritual – The effort of coordinating meetups (or even phone calls) can be one of the biggest barriers sustaining friends, so get something pre-coordinated planted permanently onto the schedule. These activities can be diverse: simple meals, book clubs, bike rides.
- Imagination – Friendships often take a backseat to family and work, and other life concerns. But they do not have to. You can take imaginative, creative action to guarantee the strength of friendships. Friends can travel together, work on creative projects together. Get creative and make it fun for both parties!
- Grace – Friendship is flexible, and bends to fit the shape our lives need it to. It can be elastic, stretching to allow long silences, but it can snap back into place when you least expect. You have to allow for these stretches and shifts in a friendship, and be generous with friends, to guarantee friendships stay strong long term. Forgive friends when they fall short and maintain an openhearted approach to new connections.
From Julie Beck at The Atlantic:
Read the whole story.
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