A Gentler, Better Way to Change Minds
Five takeaways:
- It can seem impossible to change another person’s beliefs. Brooks cites one scholar who notes that one’s personal attachment to beliefs encourages “competitive personal contests rather than collaborative searches for the truth” when it comes to ideological disagreements.
- Extensive survey-based research has shown that the two most widely shared convictions are: Harming others without cause is bad, and fairness is good. Beyond that, humans are excellent at finding things to disagree on.
- Research shows that if you insult someone in a disagreement, the odds are that they will harden their position against yours. This is called the boomerang effect.
- If we want any chance at persuasion, we must offer our opinions happily. Rather than as a weapon, as a gift– something we believe to be good for the recipient. This requires that we present it with love, not insults and hatred.
- Brooks offers three tips for greater conversational persuasion:
- Do not “other” your conversation partner by scornfully dismissing their held beliefs.
- Do not react negatively to rejection, because such rejection is their right.
- Listen to your conversation partner more– stronger listening can lead to deeper understanding of their convictions, which they are likely to reciprocate.
From Arthur C. Brooks at The Atlantic:
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