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Three takeaways:

Psychologists have shown that the feeling of being harried and having insufficient time because of busyness is linked to less happiness. The strategic use of no can truly change your quality of life.

But it is not easy to do, and for some it can actually seem like a violent act to say no, even if the request is innocuous. There are a number of natural mental biases we have towards saying yes to things– we want to people-please; we fear the consequences of saying no to someone; we are wary of missed opportunities.

However, scholars have devised experiments to show that those who struggle to turn down requests from others typically overestimate the negative consequences of turning them down. Those who ask things of us will usually be less put out than you expect them to be if you say no to them. You just have to get the knack for saying no instead of yes. Here are some tips for getting better at saying no, especially in the workplace.

1. Start a No Club: Here, Brooks tells the story of a group of scientists who agreed they were overwhelmed with requests for their time, and vowed together to say no more often. They kept each other accountable to this, and saw that they became more efficient as a result. You can also communicate with peers about the power of saying no- creating accountability and also a collaborative checks and balance system to make sure no truly unavoidable or important ask gets unfulfilled.
2. Make no easier: Make no your default option by reframing asks & requests as a request to “opt in,” to a task, rather than something you need to make an excuse to “opt out” of. No becomes easier if you approach things knowing you are not going to choose to participate, and that whoever is making the ask will have to prove why they need you to partake.
3. Make yes harder: Put a framework in place to protect yourself from burdensome asks. Not all of us can have assistants to vet opportunities as Arthur Brooks does, but knowing the arrival of a request can cause a stress reaction means that we can consciously put our phones away or switch windows on the computer when a new request comes in. This gives us time to think and evaluate it. Put friction and obstacles on your path to saying yes.

Of course, requests for your time, attention, and diligence may be unavoidable. But with these tactics in hand, and a new consciousness of the sheer weight these unending requests can have on the mind– we hope you’ll be better prepared to deploy the word that should become your best friend: No.

From Arthur C. Brooks at The Atlantic:
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Note: At the time of this posting The Atlantic offers five free article views per month.

Five takeaways:

The world’s problems are many, and it is natural to powerless in the face of all this negative news. But to disengage from the world’s problems only perpetuates the cycle of inaction, and removes our collective ability to affect change.

Brooks’s visits with the Dalai Lama have re-convinced him that solutions to the world’s lie not in grandiose actions by a select few, but in the minor, daily decisions individuals make every day.

Based on Tibetan Buddhist teachings, here are five examples of small-seeming yet world-changing acts that the Dalai Lama has challenged us to undertake each day:

1. Serve the tea: this references is a common act of generosity and humility in Tibetan culture—to serve others rather than expect to be served. Such a quiet gesture of hospitality starts a cycle of goodwill, and increases shared empathy.
2. Show your teeth: The Dalai Lama uses this expression frequently, to mean, “smile authentically.” He believes that smiles are a contagion, that will spread warmth and foster meaningful connection.
3. Change places: This boils down to being intentional about putting yourself in someone else’s shoes. Choosing to focus compassionately on others’ troubles and admire their virtues may not always be easy, but brings out the best in others with practice.
4. Think, don’t just feel: this is a safeguard against the intrusion of negative thoughts or worry, which are erased by the intentional devotion to reason. Logic and reason can cure anxiety, the Dalai Lama says. “If there is a remedy, then what is the use of frustration? If there is no remedy, then what is the use of frustration?”
5. Let it go: There is power and liberation in not reacting to the bad behavior of others, and that restraint can actually be a meaningful act of kindness– both to the wrongdoers, and to yourself.

From Arthur C. Brooks at The Atlantic:
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Note: At the time of this posting The Atlantic offers five free article views per month.

Three takeaways:

The 19th-century philosopher’s writings leave us with three rules for achieving great things that remain resonant and practical to this day.

Schopenhauer stressed that it was important to view your daily work as the building block of a greater design. “It is only when we come to view our life as a connected whole that our character and capacities show themselves in their true light.”

As a modern example, Brooks cites a 2020 experiment involving undergraduate students had one group set specific academic goals while another group did not. The goal-setting students demonstrated significantly better class performance across the semester, while those who had not set goals tended to flounder.

Brooks boils Schopenhauer’s three rules for achieving life’s great goals to:

• Keep the grand plan in mind – Treat every day as a significant building block of a greater effort. This helps you to avoid being bogged down by the feeling of progress being slow, or daily tasks being too small. Build slowly and envision the eventual goal.
• Live in day-tight compartments – While focusing on the bigger picture, be careful not to “live at the finish line” mentally. After envisioning your completed project, back up to focus on today and only on what you need to do here and now to make progress. Dale Carnegie called this living in a “day-tight compartment.”
• Block out the noise– Build your day around the tasks that will get you closer to your goal, and protect that time. Allocate specific times for activites that might divert your focus, such as checking the news or scrolling through social media.

From Arthur C. Brooks at The Atlantic:
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Note: At the time of this posting The Atlantic offers five free article views per month.

Seven takeaways:

Real Simple spoke to three organizing pros about what you should always declutter, versus those you should be intentional about keeping.

1. Papers & Documents:
   • Always Declutter: Manuals for appliances and electronics should be decluttered as they are readily available online.
   • Never Declutter: Keep important documents like birth certificates, social security cards, and legal documents, filing them away for safekeeping. Consider keeping them in a small fireproof safe.
2. Kitchen Supplies:
   • Always Declutter: That weirdly-shaped wine glass you never use? That can go. Discard or donate unused kitchen gadgets and duplicate items.
   • Never Declutter: Hold onto any item that is used regularly, as well as some of the seasonal items, like turkey basters.
3. Household Paper Products:
   • Never Declutter: Non-perishable items like toilet paper and paper towels do not need to be decluttered, even if bought in excess. They can be stored effectively.
4. Sentimental Items:
   • Always Declutter: Is the area under your bathroom sink a complete disaster? Dispose of tiny hotel toiletries and samples that are so rarely used. Remember, they have expiration dates!
   • Never Declutter: Keep half-full bottles of regularly used toiletries and products. You never know when you will run out of your current shampoo or get the urge to switch back to previous routines.
5. Toiletries:
   • Always Declutter: Is the area under your bathroom sink a complete disaster? Dispose of tiny hotel toiletries and samples that are so rarely used. Remember, they have expiration dates!
   • Never Declutter: Keep half-full bottles of regularly used toiletries and products. You never know when you will run out of your current shampoo or get the urge to switch back to previous routines.
6. Duplicates of Useful Tools:
   • Never Declutter: There is nothing more frustrating than not being able to find the scissors or measuring tape. Maintain duplicates of items like these in different areas of your home for convenience- and save yourself that hated “now where did I put the __?” frustration.
7. Clothing:
   • Always Declutter: Donate clothing that no longer fits or hasn’t been worn in a year. Give stained or damaged clothes to a textile recycling company or organization so they don’t end up in a landfill.
   • Never Declutter: Keep well-made, classic pieces like a quality trench coat or loafers, as they are likely to be useful in the future. You never know what might come back into style, so keep quality pieces of clothing around.

By Amanda Lauren for Real Simple
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