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The Problem With ‘No Regrets’

Five takeaways:

  1. While a “no regrets” mindset might sound freeing, it falsely suggests that life can and should be lived without “looking through the rearview mirror.”
  2. A 2020 study of 15,000 people in 105 countries showed that 82% percent of respondents said they feel regret occasionally; 21% said they feel regret “all the time”; and 1% said they never feel regret.
  3. While being overwhelmed by regret is unhealthy, forcing yourself to completely do away with regret completely will curse you to repeat your mistakes
  4. Brooks cites a recent book by Daniel H. Pink that breaks regret into four different types:
    • Connection regret– regret over harmed or broken or lost relationships
    • Moral regret – regret over the violation of your own values
    • Foundation regret – regret over decisions that had a profound effect on your life (like wishing you had not moved to a city, or picked a different college major)
    • Boldness regret – regret over inaction or foregone opportunities
  5. Regret can overwhelm you, but shunning them is a lost opportunity to grow. We must learn from every aspect of our lives.

From Arthur C. Brooks at The Atlantic:
Read the whole story.

Note: At the time of this posting The Atlantic offers five free article views per month.

This site may contain links to articles or other information that may be contained on a third-party website. Advisory Services Network, LLC and MAP Strategic Wealth Advisors are not responsible for and do not control, adopt, or endorse any content contained on any third party website. The information and material contained in linked articles is of a general nature and is intended for educational purposes only. Links to articles do not constitute a recommendation or a solicitation or offer of the purchase or sale of securities.

Those Who Share a Roof Share Emotions

Four takeaways:

  1. It is scientifically proven that feelings are contagious– our moods affect the moods of those around us.
  2. One study of college students matched up depressed and nondepressed roommates, and found that on average, nondepressed roommates would soon start showing signs of depression– as early as five weeks after moving in.
  3. In cases where loved ones might be depressed or unhappy, we naturally want to help them weather the storm; Brooks offers tips for maintaining your own mental health while helping to bring happiness back to those around you:
    • Work on your own happiness first: you can’t help others to be happy when you yourself are miserable!
    • Do not take it personally: view a loved one’s unhappiness the way you would view a cold. Random & temporary. You are not to blame.
    • Use the element of surprise: spontaneity is your friend. Unhappy people will usually resist the feeling of being force-fed happiness.
    • Prevent the spread: control negative feeling by strategically avoiding the other person, and be conscious of your own mood when you speak with the other person.
  4. Unhappiness of those around us can indeed be contagious, but we don’t have to treat it like the pandemic. Unhappiness is inevitable, and when approached correctly can be an opportunity to “grow in love” for someone else.

From Arthur C. Brooks at The Atlantic:
Read the whole story.

Note: At the time of this posting The Atlantic offers five free article views per month.

This site may contain links to articles or other information that may be contained on a third-party website. Advisory Services Network, LLC and MAP Strategic Wealth Advisors are not responsible for and do not control, adopt, or endorse any content contained on any third party website. The information and material contained in linked articles is of a general nature and is intended for educational purposes only. Links to articles do not constitute a recommendation or a solicitation or offer of the purchase or sale of securities.

Why Success Can Feel So Bitter

Five takeaways:

  1. This piece warns us against anchoring our happiness to a far-off goal– especially those attained at significant personal sacrifice– because there is no guarantee that it will bring you long term satisfaction.
  2. Dreams and goals are valuable to us because they give us a metric for measuring progress. But Brooks argues that happiness in life is derived from progress, not from specific outcomes.
  3. Researchers have said that “when a goal is a true end point for progress, the cessation of forward motion can lead to a feeling of emptiness” once a goal is attained. This might be called the “post-achievement hangover.”
  4. To make sure you are channeling your goals positively, ask yourself three questions about your journey to accomplishment:
    • Are you enjoying the journey?
    • Is the reward for achieving your goal something you truly want?
    • Can you take one step at a time?
  5. One should always ask themselves: why is this my goal in the first place? If they cannot really answer that– it is time to move on with life.

From Arthur C. Brooks at The Atlantic:
Read the whole story.

Note: At the time of this posting The Atlantic offers five free article views per month.

This site may contain links to articles or other information that may be contained on a third-party website. Advisory Services Network, LLC and MAP Strategic Wealth Advisors are not responsible for and do not control, adopt, or endorse any content contained on any third party website. The information and material contained in linked articles is of a general nature and is intended for educational purposes only. Links to articles do not constitute a recommendation or a solicitation or offer of the purchase or sale of securities.

What the Second-Happiest People Get Right

Five takeaways:

  1. This article proposes that more happiness is not always better than less– that overprioritizing happiness can detract from the drive that provides meaning.
  2. Researchers recently examined a data set from a study that rated incoming college freshmen’s “cheerfulness” and tracked their income nearly two decades later– and found that the “most cheerful in 1976” were not the highest earners in 1995. This distinction went to the second-highest group, which rated their cheerfulness as “above average” but not in the highest 10 percent.
  3. The article does not deny that happiness is good; rather, it urges readers to remember that a little bit of unhappiness has benefits. It breeds ambition and solution-based thinking.
  4. “An aversion to unhappiness can lead us to forgo a meaningful life.” – To avoid failure (and the feeling of failure) many will avoid taking the risks or putting out the effort required to find fulfillment.
  5. Those with the highest performance in life have been forced to make decisions that were unpleasant and scary.

From Arthur C. Brooks at The Atlantic:
Read the whole story.

Note: At the time of this posting The Atlantic offers five free article views per month.

This site may contain links to articles or other information that may be contained on a third-party website. Advisory Services Network, LLC and MAP Strategic Wealth Advisors are not responsible for and do not control, adopt, or endorse any content contained on any third party website. The information and material contained in linked articles is of a general nature and is intended for educational purposes only. Links to articles do not constitute a recommendation or a solicitation or offer of the purchase or sale of securities.
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