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The Magic of a Little Danger

Five takeaways:

  1. Opening with the example of the yearly Running of the Bulls in Pamplona, Spain, Brooks argues that the decision to expose yourself to real danger (“not roller coasters or haunted houses”) will push you out of your comfort zone, and make you feel more alive.
  2. However, Brooks reminds readers that a clear distinction must be made between bravery and recklessness– and notes that the former can be key to injecting one’s life with happiness.
  3. Brooks offers three tips for the injecting your life with the right kind of danger:
    • “Find your bulls to run with” – Your idea of danger will be different from the person next to you. Think about the things you’ve been putting off or feel like you can’t do that might be possible, with a dose of bravery. Danger is not always physical– you may fear moving to a new city, or of going back to school. You need to identify where your danger lies and pursue it.
    • “Envision bravery– but not recklessness” – When facing danger, make sure you assess risk as clearly as you can. If your fear is rock climbing, Brooks notes, you should not go ahead and climb El Capitan. But in many cases, clear assessment of risk will make you realize that the chance of catastrophe is much lower than it initially seems.
    • “Make a Sensible Plan and Follow it” – Research shows that happiness and impulsivity are incompatible. When you decide on a course of action for taking a risk, make a clear plan of action that takes different eventualities into consideration.
  4. Brooks notes that while physical danger does not keep him up at night, switching careers used to. When he quit his career as a musician, he confronted feelings of incompetence, and doing so made him infinitely more comfortable making a career change later on. He knew he could do it because he’d learned a new profession before.
  5. Nelson Mandela once said, “I learned that courage was not the absence of fear, but the triumph over it.” Look for ways in your life to triumph over fear and danger, and, Brooks says, you will find your best self waiting on the other side.

From Arthur C. Brooks at The Atlantic:
Read the whole story.

Note: At the time of this posting The Atlantic offers five free article views per month.

This site may contain links to articles or other information that may be contained on a third-party website. Advisory Services Network, LLC and MAP Strategic Wealth Advisors are not responsible for and do not control, adopt, or endorse any content contained on any third party website. The information and material contained in linked articles is of a general nature and is intended for educational purposes only. Links to articles do not constitute a recommendation or a solicitation or offer of the purchase or sale of securities.

Relationships are More Important than Ambition

Five takeaways:

  1. Ambition, the author argues, is viewed as a force that drives people forward. Conversely, relationships are often seen to hold people back from developing in life.
  2. The author cites a Journal of Applied Psychology a multidecade study that tracked the lives of ambitious children into adulthood. The study found, unsurprisingly, that children who exhibited more ambition early on went on to more illustrious and lucrative lives. But it also showed that early ambition was not as strongly correlated with wellbeing later in life. In fact, it showed that ambition is only weakly connected with well-being and negatively associated with longevity.
  3. The author cites psychologist Tim Kasser, who has shown that the pursuit of materialistic values like money, possessions, and social status– the fruits of career successes– is correlated with lower well-being and more distress. It can also come at the cost of meaningful personal relationships.
  4. Many studies have shown that community is strongly connected to well-being– more so than financial success. A 2009 Science study of 1.2million people showed that Louisiana was the happiest state… while the richest states like California, New York, and Connecticut, were listed among the least happy.
  5. Barry Schwartz, a psychological researcher based at Swarthmore College, notes that while relationships can have a limiting effect on one’s life, but that too much freedom in life can be detrimental: “Relationships are meant to constrain,” he says. “but if you’re always on the lookout for better, such constraints are experienced with bitterness and resentment.”

From Emily Esfahani Smith at The Atlantic:
Read the whole story.

Note: At the time of this posting The Atlantic offers five free article views per month.

This site may contain links to articles or other information that may be contained on a third-party website. Advisory Services Network, LLC and MAP Strategic Wealth Advisors are not responsible for and do not control, adopt, or endorse any content contained on any third party website. The information and material contained in linked articles is of a general nature and is intended for educational purposes only. Links to articles do not constitute a recommendation or a solicitation or offer of the purchase or sale of securities.

The Problem With ‘No Regrets’

Five takeaways:

  1. While a “no regrets” mindset might sound freeing, it falsely suggests that life can and should be lived without “looking through the rearview mirror.”
  2. A 2020 study of 15,000 people in 105 countries showed that 82% percent of respondents said they feel regret occasionally; 21% said they feel regret “all the time”; and 1% said they never feel regret.
  3. While being overwhelmed by regret is unhealthy, forcing yourself to completely do away with regret completely will curse you to repeat your mistakes
  4. Brooks cites a recent book by Daniel H. Pink that breaks regret into four different types:
    • Connection regret– regret over harmed or broken or lost relationships
    • Moral regret – regret over the violation of your own values
    • Foundation regret – regret over decisions that had a profound effect on your life (like wishing you had not moved to a city, or picked a different college major)
    • Boldness regret – regret over inaction or foregone opportunities
  5. Regret can overwhelm you, but shunning them is a lost opportunity to grow. We must learn from every aspect of our lives.

From Arthur C. Brooks at The Atlantic:
Read the whole story.

Note: At the time of this posting The Atlantic offers five free article views per month.

This site may contain links to articles or other information that may be contained on a third-party website. Advisory Services Network, LLC and MAP Strategic Wealth Advisors are not responsible for and do not control, adopt, or endorse any content contained on any third party website. The information and material contained in linked articles is of a general nature and is intended for educational purposes only. Links to articles do not constitute a recommendation or a solicitation or offer of the purchase or sale of securities.

Those Who Share a Roof Share Emotions

Four takeaways:

  1. It is scientifically proven that feelings are contagious– our moods affect the moods of those around us.
  2. One study of college students matched up depressed and nondepressed roommates, and found that on average, nondepressed roommates would soon start showing signs of depression– as early as five weeks after moving in.
  3. In cases where loved ones might be depressed or unhappy, we naturally want to help them weather the storm; Brooks offers tips for maintaining your own mental health while helping to bring happiness back to those around you:
    • Work on your own happiness first: you can’t help others to be happy when you yourself are miserable!
    • Do not take it personally: view a loved one’s unhappiness the way you would view a cold. Random & temporary. You are not to blame.
    • Use the element of surprise: spontaneity is your friend. Unhappy people will usually resist the feeling of being force-fed happiness.
    • Prevent the spread: control negative feeling by strategically avoiding the other person, and be conscious of your own mood when you speak with the other person.
  4. Unhappiness of those around us can indeed be contagious, but we don’t have to treat it like the pandemic. Unhappiness is inevitable, and when approached correctly can be an opportunity to “grow in love” for someone else.

From Arthur C. Brooks at The Atlantic:
Read the whole story.

Note: At the time of this posting The Atlantic offers five free article views per month.

This site may contain links to articles or other information that may be contained on a third-party website. Advisory Services Network, LLC and MAP Strategic Wealth Advisors are not responsible for and do not control, adopt, or endorse any content contained on any third party website. The information and material contained in linked articles is of a general nature and is intended for educational purposes only. Links to articles do not constitute a recommendation or a solicitation or offer of the purchase or sale of securities.
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