MAP Strategic Wealth Advisors

Four takeaways:

Our inner critic exists as a type of guardian against perceived potential harm or embarrassment or failure, and it is often rooted in past experiences or self-doubt. Understanding this inner critic is key to understanding that it is not in fact protecting you– it is keeping you from reaching your potential.

Overcoming the inner critic requires you to harness inner strength, acknowledge past successes and surround yourself with a supportive network. By seeking positive feedback and believing in yourself, you’re equipped to overcome any resistance the inner critic may impose to opportunities of growth.

Here is a battle plan for building that inner strength:

Pinpoint your strengths: Know what you bring to the table, your unique skills and experiences, much like a pilot understands their jet inside and out.

1. Pinpoint your strengths: Know what you bring to the table, and build on your unique skills and experiences. Much like a pilot understands their jet, you must know everything about your skills & arena.
2. Establish your objectives: Set specific, measurable goals that guide your journey. This turns lofty aspirations into targeted missions, each designed to challenge the inner critic’s narrative and replace doubt with evidence of your competence and achievement./li>
3. Engage your support squad: Recruit those trusted individuals who remind you of your worth, and bolster your courage when the mission feels daunting. Their feedback and camaraderie will push you forward with added confidence and perspective.
4. Celebrate every victory: Celebrate every win, no matter how insignificant you think it is. Each success is a testament to your growth, a strike against the inner critic’s baseless claims.

By Michelle Curran for the “Inverting Your Mindset” Newsletter:
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Three takeaways:

Psychologists have shown that the feeling of being harried and having insufficient time because of busyness is linked to less happiness. The strategic use of no can truly change your quality of life.

But it is not easy to do, and for some it can actually seem like a violent act to say no, even if the request is innocuous. There are a number of natural mental biases we have towards saying yes to things– we want to people-please; we fear the consequences of saying no to someone; we are wary of missed opportunities.

However, scholars have devised experiments to show that those who struggle to turn down requests from others typically overestimate the negative consequences of turning them down. Those who ask things of us will usually be less put out than you expect them to be if you say no to them. You just have to get the knack for saying no instead of yes. Here are some tips for getting better at saying no, especially in the workplace.

1. Start a No Club: Here, Brooks tells the story of a group of scientists who agreed they were overwhelmed with requests for their time, and vowed together to say no more often. They kept each other accountable to this, and saw that they became more efficient as a result. You can also communicate with peers about the power of saying no- creating accountability and also a collaborative checks and balance system to make sure no truly unavoidable or important ask gets unfulfilled.
2. Make no easier: Make no your default option by reframing asks & requests as a request to “opt in,” to a task, rather than something you need to make an excuse to “opt out” of. No becomes easier if you approach things knowing you are not going to choose to participate, and that whoever is making the ask will have to prove why they need you to partake.
3. Make yes harder: Put a framework in place to protect yourself from burdensome asks. Not all of us can have assistants to vet opportunities as Arthur Brooks does, but knowing the arrival of a request can cause a stress reaction means that we can consciously put our phones away or switch windows on the computer when a new request comes in. This gives us time to think and evaluate it. Put friction and obstacles on your path to saying yes.

Of course, requests for your time, attention, and diligence may be unavoidable. But with these tactics in hand, and a new consciousness of the sheer weight these unending requests can have on the mind– we hope you’ll be better prepared to deploy the word that should become your best friend: No.

From Arthur C. Brooks at The Atlantic:
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Note: At the time of this posting The Atlantic offers five free article views per month.

Five takeaways:

The world’s problems are many, and it is natural to powerless in the face of all this negative news. But to disengage from the world’s problems only perpetuates the cycle of inaction, and removes our collective ability to affect change.

Brooks’s visits with the Dalai Lama have re-convinced him that solutions to the world’s lie not in grandiose actions by a select few, but in the minor, daily decisions individuals make every day.

Based on Tibetan Buddhist teachings, here are five examples of small-seeming yet world-changing acts that the Dalai Lama has challenged us to undertake each day:

1. Serve the tea: this references is a common act of generosity and humility in Tibetan culture—to serve others rather than expect to be served. Such a quiet gesture of hospitality starts a cycle of goodwill, and increases shared empathy.
2. Show your teeth: The Dalai Lama uses this expression frequently, to mean, “smile authentically.” He believes that smiles are a contagion, that will spread warmth and foster meaningful connection.
3. Change places: This boils down to being intentional about putting yourself in someone else’s shoes. Choosing to focus compassionately on others’ troubles and admire their virtues may not always be easy, but brings out the best in others with practice.
4. Think, don’t just feel: this is a safeguard against the intrusion of negative thoughts or worry, which are erased by the intentional devotion to reason. Logic and reason can cure anxiety, the Dalai Lama says. “If there is a remedy, then what is the use of frustration? If there is no remedy, then what is the use of frustration?”
5. Let it go: There is power and liberation in not reacting to the bad behavior of others, and that restraint can actually be a meaningful act of kindness– both to the wrongdoers, and to yourself.

From Arthur C. Brooks at The Atlantic:
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Note: At the time of this posting The Atlantic offers five free article views per month.

Three takeaways:

The 19th-century philosopher’s writings leave us with three rules for achieving great things that remain resonant and practical to this day.

Schopenhauer stressed that it was important to view your daily work as the building block of a greater design. “It is only when we come to view our life as a connected whole that our character and capacities show themselves in their true light.”

As a modern example, Brooks cites a 2020 experiment involving undergraduate students had one group set specific academic goals while another group did not. The goal-setting students demonstrated significantly better class performance across the semester, while those who had not set goals tended to flounder.

Brooks boils Schopenhauer’s three rules for achieving life’s great goals to:

• Keep the grand plan in mind – Treat every day as a significant building block of a greater effort. This helps you to avoid being bogged down by the feeling of progress being slow, or daily tasks being too small. Build slowly and envision the eventual goal.
• Live in day-tight compartments – While focusing on the bigger picture, be careful not to “live at the finish line” mentally. After envisioning your completed project, back up to focus on today and only on what you need to do here and now to make progress. Dale Carnegie called this living in a “day-tight compartment.”
• Block out the noise– Build your day around the tasks that will get you closer to your goal, and protect that time. Allocate specific times for activites that might divert your focus, such as checking the news or scrolling through social media.

From Arthur C. Brooks at The Atlantic:
Read the whole story.

Note: At the time of this posting The Atlantic offers five free article views per month.