MAP Strategic Wealth Advisors

Three takeaways:

• Psychologists have shown in experiments that having a clear sense of your “true self” or “essence” strongly predicts a feeling of meaning in life than it does a positive emotion and/or high self-esteem.
• Acquiring that sense of one’s true self can take different forms. Some prescribe to the “discovery theory” of life– that our essence exists permanently, and that life is about discovering it – or the “creation theory“, which is the belief that our essence is something we cultivate and build throughout the course of our life.
• The stances can be distilled to three views:
  1. Essence precedes existence: Your essence is ordained before you are born. This is a view shared by many religions, including Christianity, as well as evolutionary psychology, which posits that our essential mission is to survive and reproduce. Thus, it becomes your life’s work to discern and embrace that preordained essence.
  2. Existence precedes essence: This is a view held by more existentialist philosophers, and states that we must create our essence to lead a fulfilling and responsible life.
  3. There is no essence: There is no meaning or purpose in life. This view defies human experience, and the view of life as an enterprise of self-creation.
• If your essence already exists and precedes your existence, you must discover it. You read books, take classes, and learn throughout your life. If you believe that there is no true essence, you are liberated from the duty of building a self but may lack purpose in life as a result.
• If you believe that existence precedes essence, you must choose a set of desired qualities and embody them. You must grow into the person you wish to become.
• Both the “discovery theory” and “creation theory” boil down to a clear message: choose a life of conscious action. Search for and find your essence through action and learning.

From Arthur C. Brooks at The Atlantic:
Read the whole story.

Note: At the time of this posting The Atlantic offers five free article views per month.

Four takeaways:

• Gratitude has been shown in study after study to have positive effects on one’s happiness in both the immediate and the long term.
• However, humans naturally have a “negativity bias,” an evolved tendency to focus more on adverse events than on positive ones. So, to practice and reinforce gratitude means working against our natural impulses—much like getting off the couch and lifting weights.
• Four ways one can increase their own sense of gratitude are:
  1. Make thankfulness an interior discipline: Writing down the good things in your life and then making a habit of checking the list has been identified as a tool that may reduce depressive symptoms.
  2. Make it an outward expression: Research has shown that expressing gratitude to others, whether in person or in a thank you note, has an even greater positive effect than privately listing the things you are thankful for.
  3. Make it a sacred duty: George Washington noted that “Human happiness and moral duty are inseparably connected,” in 1789. To look at gratitude as a moral duty gives it a sense of purpose in your life. This can enhance gratitude’s effects.
  4. Make it into words of worship: Even if you are not traditionally spiritual, committing to a practice of mantra or meditation that centers gratitude will help incorporate it into the way you relate to the world around you.

From Arthur C. Brooks at The Atlantic:
Read the whole story.

Note: At the time of this posting The Atlantic offers five free article views per month.

Eight takeaways:

Bertrand Russell broke down the root causes of unhappiness into eight categories of common errors humans make. They are:

1. Fashionable pessimism: Presenting an outwardly negative or pessimistic attitude, often to seem more enlightened or sensitive.
2. Social comparison: Evaluating one’s worth based on what others possess, enjoy, or achieve. This leads directly to envy and discontent.
3. Envy: Feeling unhappy because others have more, leading to resentment and dissatisfaction. Envy can be channeled positively into healthy admiration.
4. Evading boredom: Fear of boredom drives an unhealthy embrace of distractions, preventing contentment in the present moment. We need to stop fearing boredom and be comfortable with what is going on around us.
5. Coping with fear: Refusing to face and rationalize one’s fears, leading to anxiety and avoidance behaviors. Russell said, “We must think about our fears rationally and calmly, but with great concentration, until it has been completely familiar.”
6. Senseless guilt: Feeling guilty without reason or due to undue privilege, hindering happiness. Guilt can be channeled positively to gratitude.
7. Virtuous victimhood: Identifying too strongly as a victim of circumstances, which can perpetuate feelings of injustice and unhappiness. Self-pity can stimulate anger and depression.
8. Fear of public opinion: Allowing the opinions of others, especially strangers, to dictate self-worth and decisions, causing distress and anxiety.

Brooks notes that Russell is not saying that misery is a moral failing – he is saying that by correcting errors in our thinking, we can avoid unnecessary suffering.

From Arthur C. Brooks at The Atlantic:
Read the whole story.

Note: At the time of this posting The Atlantic offers five free article views per month.

Five takeaways:

Here are five tips to avoiding “the comparison trap” in defining your own sense of personal self-worth.

1. Define what success means to you: Defining your own personal concept of success shifts the focus onto your particular set of values and goals, reducing the tendency to compare with others. It makes your path distinct. Why apply someone else’s path to yours, when yours is so different?
2. Discover your own strengths: Recognize and utilize your own skill, talents, and passions. The more defined and sharpen your skillset, the less you will think that someone else’s success could possibly apply to your own path.
3. Think of the big picture: Remember that people only show you what they want to show you. There is always more under the surface; we are all contending with a particular set of challenges, stressors, and priorities. That is life.
4. Always be a student: Embrace a mindset of continuous learning by positioning yourself as a student with more to explore in life. This philosophy fosters collaboration with peers instead of competing with them. If you see yourself as an artist in the process of creating your masterpiece, you’re less likely to feel inferior when comparing your work to others, and more likely to learn important lessons from those you admire.
5. Focus on small successes: Counter comparison by concentrating on your own small achievements and projects. This approach allows for a sense of accomplishment, even if progress feels minute or incremental. Embrace the process of progress, rather than the destination.

Learning to channel the self-comparison impulse positively can shape your learning and sharpen your own sense of progress.

From Shiv Kumar for Tiny Buddha
Read the whole story.