MAP Strategic Wealth Advisors

Takeaways:

It is natural to fear disappointment, and to look at it as something to be defeated when it does rear its ugly head. It can make us feel powerless, which we are naturally inclined to find massively unpleasant.

Psychologists relate the phenomenon of “disconfirmed expectancies,” with disappointment, a term used to describe the difference between what you think will or should happen and what actually happens. Disconfirmed expectancies can trigger neuromodulator dopamine, which governs both rewards and the anticipation of rewards in our brains. If we anticipate rewards that we do not get, we become disappointed.

Optimists, in particular, tend to experience greater feelings of disappointment because they expect above-average outcomes. A 2010 Emotion study found that while naturally optimistic students reported feeling no better than any other students prior to an exam, they tended to feel worse afterward since their expectations were further from reality.

Though disappointment is unavoidable in life, Brooks argues that it would be a mistake to go through our days expecting the worst. The key, he says, is to convert your optimism to hope. Hope “does not require that you make any prediction at all about what might happen. It simply asks that you believe that whatever happens, you will have the ability to make circumstances better and you can give some thought to what that action might be.”

So: as you set your sights on what you want in life, be mindful of your expectations. If you’re hoping for a big promotion, avoid predicting the outcome. Instead, acknowledge your desire for the reward and focus on the practical steps you can take if you don’t get it.

From Arthur C. Brooks at The Atlantic:
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Eight takeaways:

The average American spends over three hours daily on their phone, and Gallup polls reveal that most people feel they overuse their devices. Excessive screen time has been linked to various potential downsides, according to multiple studies: disrupted sleep, eye strain, reduced attention span, increased stress, and even a diminished capacity to build real-life social connections. Experts warn these risks are even more significant for the developing brains of children.

But not all is lost. Here are 8 expert-backed tips for reducing your screen time.

1. Take Short Breaks Daily: Whether in a drawer, another room, or inside a timed lockbox, leave your phone in a secluded place for a specific amount of time each day.
2. Delete Time-Wasting Apps: It doesn’t have to be a permanent deletion, but getting your most time-intensive apps off of your phone will kickstart the process of reducing your brain’s reliance on it.
3. Mute Noisy Notifications: The constant pings of notifications coming in can create an urgency associated with your phone, which can lead to a compulsion. Go into your phone’s settings and turn off notifications for your buzziest apps.
4. Go Gray: Phones are strategically designed to capture our attention with vibrant colors and engaging designs. Switching your screen to grayscale can help loosen their grip by dulling the visual appeal. You can keep your phone in grayscale all the time or use it only when actively trying to reduce screentime.
5. Build Up Your Attention Stamina: Your attention span can be trained, like a muscle. To do this, silence your phone and set a timer for a beginner-friendly 15 minutes. Place your device face-down, committing to not touch it until the timer goes off. This will become much easier with practice.
6. Arm Yourself With Alternatives: When working to replace an unhelpful habit, it’s essential to have healthier alternatives at the ready. Explore new hobbies, dive into books, create art, exercise, spend time in nature, or connect with others face-to-face. Engaging in slower, purposeful activities soothes the mind and helps expand your attention span.
7. Enlist Friends and Family: Turn your screen-time reduction into a team effort. Set boundaries with family, like no phones during meals, or lead by example by avoiding social media while with friends.
8. Track Your Progress: Making changes is easy; sticking with them is harder. Make sure to monitor your progress by reviewing your goals; check weekly screen time stats and adjust as needed.

As always, celebrate the wins! Phone use can be difficult to regulate because the phone has so many useful applications– so, especially in this case, remember that small, incremental reductions in screen time can still be major wins.

By Courtney Lindwall for Consumer Reports
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